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Friday, June 7, 2013

Feeling Beautiful is Being Beautiful

So I’m making out with my new boyfriend. We’ve been dating for two weeks and it’s the first time we are getting intimate under the sheets. As his hand lifts the blanket and glides over my hip, I work ‘my angles’ so any unwanted flab does not droop where it’s not supposed to be. “What’s going to happen when my super-padded bra comes off and he realizes my ‘C’ cups are really ‘B’s? As we get deeper into our sexy-time together and the sheets slide to the ground, I pray he does not turn on any bright lights like my last boyfriend always did. My silent prayer ignites: “May perfect lighting bless my body here, now, and ever more! 

He pauses to express an interest in my (up until now) hidden tattoos. I am thankful for their appeal, as they distract him from nearby stretch marks. “Why can’t I just enjoy this pleasurable experience without living in a fear based state of possible body-rejection by my new beau?

You may find journaling with this Blog to be helpful, as you can observe the ebb and flow of your thoughts, feelings, and life-changes as you love your beautiful body more and more over time. Journalists, look for (Journal Date + Q & A) to write questions and answers as we go. Otherwise simply soak in the offerings! <3

Ask Yourself  (Journal Date + Q & A)
-Am I friends with my body?
-Do I speak and think positively about my body?
-Can I enjoy a sexual/intimate experience unabashedly, without concern over the appearance of my physical body?

No matter what your answers are, if you are willing to redefine the day-to-day relationship you have with your body into a more positive one, this Blog is for you. At ‘I Love my Beautiful Body’ Blog, we learn to love our bodies no matter what weight, shape, size or state of health we find our bodies to be in.  

While this is not a science class, you will be encouraged to do homework and experiment with your personal body ‘thoughts’, ‘actions’ and ‘affirmations’ over the course of these posts. You will also be urged to consider your day-to-day thoughts as being intimately connected to how your body looks and feels to you.

Ask Yourself  *(Journal Date + Q & A)
How do I FEEL about my body right now?
If I was to make three statements about my body, what would they be?
How do those statements make me feel?

How you feel about your body is key to feeling beautiful from the inside out.
What you say and think about your body contains the potency to shift how you feel about your body.
What you say and think about your body has the ability to ‘physically’ change your body, and grow you a new one. We will discuss this theory more in upcoming posts.

For example: I wake up, look in the mirror and decide the cellulite on my legs is utterly disgusting. I spend the day beating my body up by focusing on the imperfections I perceive. I feel miserable about myself as the day progresses and this leads me to highlighting even more things about myself I don’t like. Do you see the ‘snowball effect’ in action here?

Q: Would spending the day thinking pessimistic thoughts about your body make it hard for you 
to feel beautiful?

A: You bet it would.

Now on the other hand; If I wake up, look in the mirror and see some ‘imperfections’, but know I am working on improving them and accepting them, I would have a chance to spend time acknowledging the parts of my body I liked, or those I could come to like. (baby steps work, they really do.) Such as the curve of my hip, the softness of my skin, or how my eyes light up when I smile.

‘Positive Body Talk and Thought’ can be a full time job if you constantly bombard and distract yourself with negative thoughts about your body throughout the day. The challenge is to rewrite the often *unconscious script we have about our selves, from the inside out.

*When we do things in an unconscious manner, we are doing them out of habit, without really paying attention to what we are doing.

Homework Experiment  *(Journal Date + Q & A)
Over the course of the next week, wake up every morning and look in the mirror completely naked if possible. (1) Notice what you usually don’t like about your body. Next comes the ‘work’! (2) Flip the script about those parts you don’t like, and find something you like. For Example: (a) Even though you don’t like the cellulite on your legs, you can flip the script by focusing on the shapely curve of your legs, or your strong calves. Or, (b) Even though the Doctor’s report is depressing, you can decide your body is capable of healing itself, completely. (3) And finally, state out loud and into the reflection of yourself in the mirror, the positive affirmations you find in your Beautiful Body. Find one to three things about your body to appreciate each day for a week.

Here are the above as examples: I like the shapely curve of my legs. My body is capable of healing itself completely.

For accelerated healing and positive change, recite your three (or more) affirmations silently or aloud each time you pass a mirror throughout your day-to-day experiment.

End your mirror affirmations with this statement:
“I Love My Beautiful Body!”

Next week we will workout together with videos focusing on a tighter, lifted buttocks. I look forward to sharing suggestions for everyday fitness and tips to raise your metabolism in a safe and nutritious way.

I am not a certified nutritionist, doctor or therapist. Please consult your healthcare professional before participating in any
 lifestyle changes you may feel are questionable to your health. 
I am not responsible for any action you resume.
© Tuesday May Thomas 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

I Love my Beautiful Body

Thank you for visiting ‘I Love My Beautiful Body’. I am inspired to share this Blog with all of you out there that have difficulty loving your body just the way it is, NOW.  Each week we will walk through a new dimension of your body and explore loving it, healing it and making changes in our day-to-day life so you may learn how to grow a new physical form. That’s right- you will grow yourself into a new body, I swear! You will be given weekly Homework. You will experiment with new eating and exercise routines. You will consider how your thoughts about your body influence how you feel about your body and affect how it appears to you. The most important part of growing a new body, lies in cultivating the ability to let go of pain from the past, and habits that keep you stuck in the rut of projecting negative thoughts about your body image.

Your body is a living entity. Your body goes with you everywhere you go. It can be your best friend if you let it. It hears every thought and word you speak about it. When you talk to your friends, or think about how much you hate your thighs or belly fat, your body shrinks in its ability to be powerful, and change itself into a new form. It feels bullied by your small talk about it and just like a child, thinks what you say is the truth. On the other hand, when you speak and think in positive ways about your body- it stands up a little straighter and has more energy to do things for it's self to make improvements.

Now lets get one thing straight, this Blog is not about obtaining the ‘perfect body’-it’s about helping us all, myself included, make the day-to-day changes required to truly shift out of the limited vision we have of ourselves so we can love our selves, and bodies more. Perhaps you love the weight you are at and do not wish to change a thing- That is great! There may still be some insight I can offer through this Blog that may help you heal other aspects of yourself. 

I will say this; If loosing weight is your only goal, this blog may not be for you. While I enjoy sharing workout routines and love exercising more than I ever did before, I know the secret to being beautiful is not how much make up you have on, how perfect your breasts are, how buff you are, or how much hair you have on our head  (this Blog is for Men too!)- It's how you feel about yourself on the inside. Once you begin to dismantle old negative 'body talk' and begin a new conversation with your body, you may find your weight changing, or inches dropping, or your overall appearance will begin to look different to you. But its ultimatley because you are learning to love yourself and your body more now than ever, not because you are battling the scales.

Maybe you have spent a lifetime, or many years seeing your body as unhealthy, ugly, fat or yes, even too thin.  Maybe you are afraid to be beautiful. I was trained from the age of five by my grandmother to be fearful. She told me over and over again; “Any time a man looks at you, he wants sex with you.” She used to say this in a manner that made it sound threatening to gain a man's attention. This totally confused me, as I had no idea what ‘sex’ was at that early age. I learned to basically ‘fear being a woman’ and think of sex as dirty. As I grew up,  I realized her words were burned into my mind. I believed them to be true. I allowed her words to make me very afraid to feel beautiful, or do anything to draw attention to myself in a way that would seem attractive to the opposite sex. When I did gain attention from men, I would freeze or fumble and become very anxious and uptight. Listen, I love my Nana, I now know she was only trying to keep me ‘safe’ in her own way. But I am also aware she was giving, or gifting to me, her personal beliefs about men. I don’t hold it against her. 

Thankfully I have cracked the code and realize those were her fearful thoughts I took on over my life, and they really had nothing to do with me, unless I believed they did. That’s what you will be doing. You will crack your inner-codes and learn to dismantle harmful, hurtful, fear-based, and limiting thought-patterns that were given, or gifted to you by family, friends, foes and society at large... Yes, when we learn to transform them, these burdens can become gifts of the highest order!

Okay, if you are still reading, then something here is resonating and maybe there could be some nuggets of gold in this rainbow of a Blog for you! 

Being beautiful is not about having a tiny waistline, zero flab, no cellulite, or never getting wrinkles, it’s about feeling beautiful as a day-to-day experience. When we feel beauty, that is; Experience a true appreciation and awe at the wonder of our bodies we so often take for granted, our bodies start to respond in amazing ways. So, we will learn to allow ourselves to feel beautiful. As we relax into feeling beautiful, our ability to see ourselves in beautiful ways will begin to take shape. You will naturally want to take better care of your skin and eating habits. Proper rest along with regular exercise will become a part of your regimen. But most of all, you will learn how to heal your body with the power of your thoughts about yourself. This is the most valuable part of the equation because its gift that keeps giving. It is the gift of greater self-love. Ahhhhh <3

When you start to let go of unconstructive habits, re-write the way you think about yourself, and begin to heal the stuff deep inside, the pounds will start to melt off, or your ability to gain weight (if the reverse is your woe) will start to happen in a balanced way. You will become lighter on the inside without all those heavy thoughts beating you up, and your natural weight will find you.

Picture- me at the age of seventeen. 
I am smiling on the outside but filled with negative self-talk on the inside. I weigh close to 190 lbs here.

Believe me, You can loose all the weight you want, but it doesn’t mean you will feel better, be happier, or even look different to yourself if you still see yourself as ‘fat’ and continue to have fat thoughts about yourself. Back in 2000, I weighed close to 200 pounds. After three months of backpacking around Australia I weighed 140 pounds. It didn’t matter because every time I looked in the mirror I still saw the overweight girl I was before I left staring back at me in the mirror. (You can read all about my personal adventures with weight gain, weight loss, and more in my upcoming book entitled Confessions of a Spiritual Apprentice © 
 I had ‘programmed’ so many hateful thoughts about myself into my body- that I literally could not see past them. They blinded me, and after some time I gained back enough weight to fit the image I had in my mind. 

Confessions of A Spiritual Apprentice book!books/c1xu8.

Picture Below- Me just a couple months ago. I am filled with more beautiful thoughts than I ever knew I could have! 
I am 160 lbs here, my steady weight. 

Yes, from an early age I was clinically obese and then I grew a few inches and everything evened out. And then I gained weight again, and then I lost it, and then I gained it back again, and then I lost it again... and the cycle went on and on. It all changed when the ‘ex’ I was planning to marry (and was with for five years), slept with another person a week before our marriage date was set. Ughhh....

I was thirty-eight years old and weighed 185 pounds. I hated who looked back at me in the mirror. All I could see was a tired, aging, overweight woman who had been betrayed, a woman who could never trust in love again. I felt so alone... But instead of cursing my body for all of its faults as I usually would, I began to feel compassion for all the hurt and pain I had gone through, not just with my ex, but over my whole life.

I saw the connection between who I thought I was, and how my body appeared to me, exactly as the person I thought I was. I hated myself and my body, but deep inside I knew the self-hate was bringing me down. I looked in the mirror at my sagging and emotionally exhausted body and told myself; “You’re gonna change for the better lady.” I felt so hurt and could have easily become bitter after the experience with my ex. But I didn't want to grow into a suspicious, mistrusting, scowling, lonely old woman. And believe me, even when young in years, constant thoughts of self-hate and loathing will wear you down from the inside out and cause you to look a lot older than you are.

I am now forty-one years of age and feel younger than when I was in my thirties. It is in part due to an exercise, beauty and nutrition routine, but mostly it is due to the cause of learning to love myself, one day at a time. That’s what I want to share with you- the gift of learning to love yourself more than you ever have before. May you and find beauty in who you get to know within yourself.

So, I’m not gonna leave you without something to work with, and I appreciate you reading thus far so we can get to know each other. I can’t promise each weekly post will be of a certain length, but I will promise to share new tools with you each week. Your tools will include tips on nutrition, digestion, products I love, recipes, suggestions on how to structure, plan and schedule your workouts, and videos on tightening, lifting and toning your beautiful body with my favorite ‘shape-shifter’ routines that you can do at home. We will also have fun with hair, skin and beauty routines while running through weekly guidelines for day-to-day ways you can raise your metabolism and ‘work’ your body while at the bus stop, at work and at home. 

Remember, most importantly- your homework will include ‘inner work’ too, so you can explore feeling beautiful from the inside out. After all, isn’t that what truly counts? We become more beautiful with each beautiful thought we have. We are cultivating ‘beauty consciousness’ from within each living cell in our beautiful, healthy bodies! This kind of beauty radiates out in all directions and returns multiplied! Mmmmm hmmmm.. 

So thats what our first program together will be in the next posting; working with our thoughts about our bodies. Once we get accustomed to this kind of 'body-talk work', the next blog will incorporate fun exercise routines for my fav areas to tone; the butt, triceps, legs and core. I will include guidelines to structure your own workouts too!

Thank You for visiting. Please come back later to begin this program, or go ahead and keep reading!-  Why not??

I am not a certified nutritionist, doctor or therapist. Please consult your healthcare professional before 
participating in any diet, exercise or lifestyle changes you may feel are questionable to your health.
 I resume no responsibility for your actions.
© Tuesday May Thomas 2013