I'm back!!!

Beautiful Body Crew, How are you?!!

It has been roughly five years since my last post to you and so much has happened on an inner and outer level. I have learned so much more about loving and caring for my beautiful body and am excited to share it all with you.

I want to bring you up to speed on a few things.

1) I have been selected as a competitor to be on the cover of 'Muscle and Fitness Hers' Magazine! Check out my profile page https://mshealthandfitness.com/2020/tuesday-may-thomas .

2) I just started a new Instagram account @BOOTYSCULPTRESS. It's brand new- If you're into working out, healthy living, a positive mindset, growing your booty, plus a dash of silly memery- please follow!!! Check it here https://www.instagram.com/bootysculptress/

3) I teach a kick butt 'BootySculpt Cl-ass' every Tuesday afternoon at 12PM pst via Zoom, by paypal donation. email me for more info here ->

tuesdaymaythomas@tuesdaymathomas.com

4) I've been to hell and back and want you to know, no matter what life hits you with- you can survive and learn to thrive from it all.

Some of you are aware of what I have been through in these past five years. It's been traumatic and deeply healing, to say the least. I stayed fit for some time, then it all went out the window when I started drinking wine EVERYDAY as a way to numb out my feelings (see below). I gained a bunch of weight and then in late 2018, I slowly got back into my fitness groove. 

Here is an excerpt from my Insta about it-

Life happens. Under grace, we survive. A brief outline of my booty/body story... 2013, I start working out and met the man of my dreams. We got engaged in 2014! In late 2015 my (then) fiancé attempted suicide and our world fell apart. This was the biggest life crisis I have ever experienced. I started drinking and stopped working out. We went to suicide support group meetings and had to start from scratch. Life was dark. I constantly thought I would come home and find my beloved had taken his life.
•
We decided to go through with the marriage the following year and performed our own ceremony out in nature. By 2016 I was doing my best to exercise, but I had become addicted to drinking wine. I drank daily & it added pounds. I became lazy & depressed.
•
Later that year my 'husband' had an emotional breakthrough & disclosed to me the reason he attempted suicide back in 2015 was that he's really 'a woman' in a man's body.
•
We started going to meetings for trans women and their partners. We even went to weekly therapy sessions at the local lgbtq center. I am grateful for those sessions. We did our best to work through it all and heal our lives.
•
By mid-2017, we knew the relationship had run its course. We said goodbye and thankfully are still friends.
•
I had gained 35 lbs, & continued drinking wine daily until late 2018. Since then, I've been on a focused path of healing and renewal...and have finally come full circle!
And you can do it too. Life can throw you into a serious crisis without any warning.
But you are stronger than you know. You can heal. You can forgive yourself and others ...and be free to be you ♡Love, @bootysculptress

I look forward to seeing you on Instagram and sharing from my journey of healing, health, fitness, and growing a booty!
Lots of Love- and thanks for sticking around all of these years
xo
Tuesday

https://www.instagram.com/tuesdaymaythomas/

©Tuesday May Thomas

Booty Rehab + My Outdoor Fitness Workout

Hello Beautiful Bodies,

Having moved out of the inner city (dtla to be exact), I am now surrounded by spaciousness, fresh air and desert mountains. With my recent life change- read my blog "What Does Your Body Know?", I did not exercise AT ALL for one month- I can hardly believe it myself. But sometimes life requires other areas to take center stage and rightly so. Even though it felt like everything in and on my body was sliding south, in just two weeks of dead lifts and squats I began to feel and see my body taking shape once again... and so can you. Northbound we all go!! All of this 'outdoor-ness' is quite a change from spending so much time in the gym. But I'm finding my way and am loving all this 'fresh air fitness'. It is my intention to inspire you on your path to a Superior Posterior (more on that later) and to also share with you how I keep in shape without a gym.

For starters I have a mini Trampoline, and I love to use it. It is so good for our bodies. MmmHmm

Video of me Jumping on Mini Trampoline

The following "10 Health Benefits Of Rebounding" is from this great website www.healthextremist.com To read her full article on 'Rebounding', aka jumping on a trampoline, go to http://www.healthextremist.com/health-benefits-of-rebounding/

Before we continue, here are some benefits of 'jumping' I love:

10 Health Benefits Of Rebounding:

1. Increases Your White Blood Cells By 3 TIMES!

After rebounding for just 5 to 10 minutes, the number of your white bloods will triple. According to Natural News, they will remain increased to that level for nearly an hour after rebounding. An increase in white blood cells enhances your immune system, which is great for not only preventing/recovering from illness, but also for those with autoimmune conditions.

2. Stimulates Your Lymphatic System + Increases Circulation

The Increased G-Force Created From Bouncing On A Trampoline Stimulates The Lymphatic System And Boosts Circulation Throughout Your Body. Increasing The Activity Of Lymphocytes Improves The Immune System And Aids In Detoxifying.

3. Aids In Releasing Toxins

It Cleanses Your Lymphatic System Which Helps Remove Toxins From The Body.

4. Increases Energy

This gentle exercise increases circulation of oxygen to cells, which aids in boosting energy. Just after a few minutes of bouncing on the trampoline, I feel a burst of energy.

5. Improves Digestion

According to Young and Raw, using a trampoline can help with digestion because the contraction and relaxation of muscles helps clean out the digestive tract.

6. Helps With Varicose Veins

Another one of the great health benefits of rebounding is that it helps reduce and prevent varicose veins. Since rebounding increases circulation and blood flow, it helps reduce the inflammation and pain with varicose veins. When I was looking for more information on how it helps with varicose veins, I found many commenting on their experience with it helping prominent veins.

7. Aids In Weight Loss

Rebounding is a great form of gentle exercise that promotes weight loss. I love that it is easy to do and fun!

8. Beneficial For Preventing Cancer

According to Linda Brooks, author of A Simple Approach to Cancer, rebounding aids in reducing tumors that are cancerous due to increasing the immune system and the cleansing of the lymphatic system.

9. Build Bone Mass

It can increase bone density and help you maintain bone mass even as you get older. Additionally, starting it as a daily routine, can help prevent osteoporosis.

10. Improves Cellulite

Bouncing on a trampoline can reduce the appearance of cellulite as it involves increases circulation of lymphocytes, which aids in breaking down the cellulite. According to Dr. Mercola, the exercise causes vibrations resulting in the contraction of muscles, which pushes lymphatic fluid out of areas of the body where cellulite forms ( such as outer thighs). One study found that this type of exercise reduced cellulite in participants by 26%.

I will be writing a blogpost on the miracle of releasing cellulite. What does it take to release cellulite? I hear you ask....  Mentally; It takes forgetting what you think you know about your body. Physically; It takes eating right (most of the time) along with booty popping exercises included in my video below.Body brushing and the use of specific essential oils with hand massage help too- so keep tuning in and I will share my secrets with you!Okay, back to my non-gym work out. I have taken up a once weekly ritual of walking / 'mini-jogging' up a half mile hill. It is a half mile uphill, and a half mile downhill. I walk up and down the first round (1 Mile) and then do my 'mini-jogging' up the hill on the second round, and walk down the second half. That's two miles total baby!!.. And a big feat for me. I break a sweat and get into a new dimension of breathing, which- as a Yogi, I love! I will build up to three miles as the New Year progresses.

I am not a fan of 'running', well... once in a while you might find me on a treadmill, though it has never been a favorite pastime. All of this said- here, out in nature with so much fresh air- I kinda can't say no to at least 'mini-jogging' a little. What is 'mini-joggin'? It's like trotting lightly with mini-bouncy-steps. It's the kind of 'running' I can do- and that my knees and hips agree with, at least a half-mile at a time.  My fiancé asks me to run with him all the time. I usually say no thank you, or get some odd injury by trying to do too much too soon. P.s. I'm asking Santa for a pair of old school roller skates. That way I can work my legs by my fiancé's side, as he runs. There is a nice long path close by we will have to explore.

As I began working out again, I realized my cardio had been non-existent. I rarely became breathless when working out (awful for a fitness teacher). Old injuries kept me from doing too much 'crazy' in dance classes, so I opted out (except for teaching Bellydane). I would get breathless after the cardio-dance-aerobics at the beginning of BodySculpt class ... and remember a many a times breathing deeply at the end of class, drenched in sweat! BTW- "Holla".. to all my Beautiful BodySculpt students.. May the upcoming video be of serious service to your backside!"... Yes, so very little cardio for me in general. Mini-jogging up this half mile hill is where I begin to get my breathlessness ON! 

P.s. Make sure to wear proper shoes for your happiest and healthiest 'mini-jogging' experience, especially if you have knee or foot issues.

Okay, so I jump the trampoline three times a week for 12-20 minutes, after a little stretch, onto the funnest of all- Booty Rehab time! I started just doing these reps of 25 x 2 sets of Dead Lifts and 25 x 2 sets Squats, 50 total each. That's all my body could handle after not working out for a month. I slowly added back step lunges and side skaters (which I will share soon in my Booty Rehab series), and then worked up to 75 reps and then 100... but for now I introduce to you- a mini workout that will 'take away time' as far as your posterior goes. 

*I introduced Dead Lifts in BodySculpt class a handful of times, but due to the high number of students and ages ranging from 18- 78. Some students would complain about their lower back hurting or knees. This said : PLEASE LISTEN TO YOUR BODY and NEVER do anything that does not feel right for it. Period.

MY DEAD LIFT RULES
-You are accessing the muscles on the back of your legs with dead lifts. This includes the hamstrings, glutes, and lower back (your booty bump). Focus on using your 'backside' to lift the weight. Avoid using your upper body or using your quadriceps to lift.
-Never use heavy weights unless you know what your doing. You will end up using your strongest muscle groups to do the work and miss the posterior all together- or injure yourself.
-Start with two five pound weights, or a body bar of ten/twelve or fifteen pounds total. In this video I am using only ten pounds total on my lifting bar.
-Breathe in through your nose as you lower & out through your mouth as you rise up
-Keep your core engaged; lower belly muscle activation
-Beginners; bend your knees as much as you need to as you fold forward. Only fold forward as far as feels safe. You will eventually straighten the legs more, but never to locked knees.
-The point is to access your posterior and use those muscles in a superior way. Remember, avoid using your upper body or quadriceps to do the work.
-Feet: Stay with bodyweight in the heels and out of the toes!

Okay here's my first Booty Rehab Workout Video. Try it once, then maybe again, then maybe do it twice in a row- that's 100 squats & 100 dead lifts! These two are our classic booty lifting miracle workers. Enjoy! 

Booty Rehab Workout Video Dead Lifts & Squats

If by any chance your body simply does not like these movements, I have included a basic brazilian buttlift workout done on hands and knees, below. You can always add ankle weights (start with 1 pound on each ankle for beginners, or those who are new to working out).

Exercise Video Build Your Booty Shelf

Thank you for reading. Thank you for working out with me.
Visit my website. Lets connect on social media <3.

Until we meet again.. Keep loving your Beautiful Body...
Love & Peace,
Tuesday

www.TuesdayMayThomas.com
www.instagram.com/tuesdaymaythomas

A Message to my Fitness Students xoxo

A Video Message to all Fitness Students!

Especially my

beloved crew in dtla!

With Namaste Love

Tuesday

www.tuesdaymaythomas.com

www.instagram.com/tuesdaymaythomas

Sexy is Now- Stop Trying to Please Others

Dance your own dance and brave a whole new you. Watch the world change as you evolve in Self Love & Self Mastery. Everything changes when you take the reigns. 

Feeling sexy is not giving a fuck what others think of you. 

You are free!

Being sexy is not thinking you know what others are thinking of you. Get out of your head and set yourself free!

Spiritual practices such as meditation, chanting and energy healing can free one of needing approval and validation from the world.

Sexy is Freedom from the limiting and self-hating thoughts in your mind... 

Ultimately it's the you in your head you will battle. Make friends with your Self, choose Self Love & Acceptance and the road opens to you!

~ Tuesday

www.tuesdaymaythomas.com

Waist Training- Why?

Why am I waist training?... I never once thought about having a smaller waistline, in fact I never thought about it, because I didn't really think it was possible. As I have learned to love and accept myself, a new conversation has birthed between me and my bones, muscles, organs and skin.

I always thought I would be stuck in a body I hated and that it would never really change. I have learned my body is a living, breathing, malleable organism that is ever shedding and growing anew. I understand now, more than ever- that my body's health, energy and physique are direct reflections of my thoughts, feelings and affirmations... not only about IT, but about everything I think and feel about life and the universe as a whole.

I strive to experience peace, joy and simplicity. I am done with the inner fight and ‘self sabotaging’ self-hate. As my life heals, my body heals. Old molds of who I thought I was drop away and my body hungers to explore new and exciting dimensions of self. As the divine feminine is allowed to dance and play through my body, I want to dance, decorate and celebrate my form. I call it lovin' on my body.

Let it be known the love always begins on the inside and change is not sought because what abides is unloved and must change. Change is born through complete acceptance and love in the now. That love draws me to explore- like a scientist, like an artist- the abilities of my body, and this is one way I am loving to experiment! Stay tuned.... 

Love~ Tuesday

www.tuesdaymaythomas.com

Don't be hard on yourself when your workout routine changes

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You workout to give yourself love.
You workout to have some alone time.
You workout to practice loving your Beautiful Body.
You workout to sculpt, tighten and tone...To build muscle and see results.

But what happens when your workout schedule changes and your exercise flow is disrupted? When your routine begins to change, does your energy shift?... When you miss your favorite class, not once, but twice, and then three times... do you feel your bod' begin to change? Does how you see yourself begin to shift? Can you keep instilling loving thoughts to your Beautiful Body, or do you start on the negatory, feeling like everything you've worked for is literally going downhill?

This is a crucial crossroads we may find ourselves at one time or another in life, and along the path of attaining a regular workout schedule. Where there was self-praise, growing confidence and a growing ember of self love, can come self-criticism and perhaps, a shift back into bad habits and self loathing.

Because your workout routine may have slipped for a week or two, or three, or even four!!!... You may have decided to loosen up your diet too. Where you had crafted the skill to say NO to certain foods, and only have them as rewards or on special occasions, you are now indulging regularly and feeling the change this causes in your physical, mental and emotional bodies too.

Stop the Hate

Recently my workout schedule completely changed. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. First I got a cold- not a heavy duty flu or anything, just the sniffles and that crappy feeling that drained my energy completely for a whole week. Just as I was feeling better and ready to embark on getting back to my workout routine, my period came. Now, I can't stop teaching Body Sculpt Classes just because I get the sniffles or have my monthly visitor, so I was at least doing my classes a couple times a week. And just because I get my period doesn't generally mean I stop working out altogether- though I will allow myself a couple down days to relax and eat whatever I desire! All of this said; once in a blue 'moon' I will get atrocious cramps and super low energy during my cycle. This round was exactly that. So I sucked it up and just rolled with it- feeling bloated, emotional and grumpy. Ughhh- Week two of no working out.

As my period ended, I began to see the light, becoming excited once again to get back into my routine- feeling my body begin to loose it's tightness, I couldn't wait to get back into my Callanetics, and 'after class extra workout regimen' at the gym. As I was getting prepared to get back into my flow, my lower back went out. Arghhhh!!! I was so upset! "Okay Universe, what are you trying to tell me?" I became so annoyed with my body. "Why is this happening to me?" I screamed. Walking to work I had to hold my posture just so, to take the pressure off my lower back. My face contorted with grief as other areas of my body compensated for the pain I felt. I had to wear a heat patch while instructing and couldn't wait to get home and cry.

Distorted Vision
I got home with my aching back and took a shower. Making my way to bed I glanced at my body in the mirror. Three weeks of not working out has surely taken its toll, I thought to myself. I had got back into the habit of  bombarding my mind and body with negative thinking and got into a lazy habit of talking down to myself. With all of this down talk, I was sure what to expect looking back at me in the mirror- a haggard, bloated lady. As I looked in the mirror I saw cellulite and all the usual suspects I expect to see- looking back at me. (Isn't it true, we automatically see the parts of ourselves we have learned to hate or think are not perfect- instead of praising ourselves for learning to love ourselves more, and for all the work we have poured into maintaining a routine.) Yep, my negative self talk is confirmed.. I thought to myself. I scowled at my reflection and only saw the 'ugly' parts of myself. Missing out on my workouts has left my body gross and dare I say it... 'fat'. I thought to myself.

But just then something happened. I could not surrender to entertaining so much self hate, after all of the hard work I have done to get healthy, happy and love my body just the way it is. After all- this IS what I preach and teach. So now I get to walk the talk. I turned back to the mirror and like a fog that slowly faded, I saw through layers of self loathing... Yes my body felt and appeared 'softer',  but no I had not 'lost' all the hard work I had clocked up over the past couple years, at all. I allowed my eyes to gaze over a wider expanse of my body- beyond the usual suspects of cellulite and loose skin around my chunky juicy inner thighs. While I used to be obsessed with weighing myself, I do my best not to get caught in that trap. That said, I hit the scales and saw I had gained five pounds- gasp! That said- I noticed my butt did not sink back to my ankles and the general tone of my muscles was still present through my skin. Sure, my tummy had softened a bit- but for all of my negative thinking and feeling, I was still in good shape. I let myself off the hook, crawled into bed and lay my hands upon my lower back to help its healing process.

Switch Your Thinking
One final week of not working out, and I'm feeling even worse about my body. But it's another trap! I realized how much I identify with my body... and not always in the healthiest ways. I am not my body!!! We, all of us are sooo much more than just a physical form! 'Knowing' this on a spiritual level I still find myself feeling like; "If it (my body) looks and feels tight, I am happy", "If it looks and feels soft, I am sad." Whoa- what an amazing realization to make. How can I be so identified with this one dimension of myself? I prayed "Let me remember that I am more than my body and be grateful for its perfect health.." (even though I was healing my back, had gone through a cold and a 'crampy' period- I opted for the light!). I had to turn my thinking around and focus on the positive instead of the negative. The body hears everything you think and say about it, and responds accordingly. Tell yourself you are ugly and sick, and your cels will begin to believe it- and make that the reality. Tell yourself you are healthy and beautiful, and your cels will begin to respond in amazing ways. I had to go back in time and erase an almost months worth of debilitating statements I had recited over and over unto myself and replace them with love <3

Love is the Answer
It's so easy to be hard on ourselves, when what we need is more love, more patience and allowance to go through whatever the body/mind/emotions> 'LIFE' needs to traverse. As I have come out the other end, and am getting back into my workout routine, I now see many aspects of my life were changing over that month of 'set backs'. (1) I am leaving a job I have had for nearly ten years, (2) I have been letting go of many limiting beliefs in other areas of my life, and (3) I am talking wedding dates with my fiance... Woop!

We forget that as we shift our thinking, jobs, and relationships, our internal landscape shifts too. My body was reflecting all of the changes I was setting up in my life. As yours most likely would too. It is okay to allow time and space, patience and grace with your body and life. I love my life and I love my Beautiful Body. Remember when you are going through major transitions and your workout routine changes- be patient with yourself and keep choosing love over negative self talk. Love is like a muscle, we get to exercise it just as much as we do our crunches and squats! Now that I am getting back on a roll, I see the time I had to reflect and be still is serving a much larger pattern in my life. I had to slow down on many levels so that things could speed up and take off in wonderful ways!

Choose Love, Choose Love, Choose Love, even if you forget and slip back into old patterns, you can always come back to Choosing Love.

Blessings,
Tuesday
©TuesdayMayThomas

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Divine Feminine Part 3 of 4- What kind of Femme are you?

Bamboo Warrior 'Blog-Banner' Photo Credit: www.clareceleste.com

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Who was your first female heroine? Mine was Princess Leia from the original Star Wars. I dressed like her when I was little. I wore a long white draping tunic/turlte neck gown belted at the hip, and my mom helped to roll my waist length hair into donut buns and pinned them to the sides of my head. I wanted to be like her; sassy, beautiful, smart, and capable of kicking ass! Who was your hero/ine as a youth?

 Later I could not help but attain a girl crush on Lara Croft of the Tomb Raider movies... Talk about serious stunt skills, fearlessness in the face of huge obstacles, non-stop gorgeousness, faultless femininity, and the ability to model 'doing the right thing'- for a cause larger than herself... Her actions were performed in light of serving the higher good, you know? The Lara Croft character did not do things for fame, money or glory. She saved the world and did the right thing just because. Okay, maybe there was a lil' revenge mixed in there, but that was not her driving force. In Tomb Raider 2, she 'had to' cut the guy who cut her earlier in the film just to get even- but still, she could have killed him, but didn't.... What am I getting to?

Well, about a year ago I began seeking a female role model in a real life person. Someone who could be an inspiration to me and 'model' what being a powerful woman in the world might look like. I certainly did not feel like a woman, what ever that was, and was far away from feeling femininity from within.  I sought someone who exuded qualities I could 'try on' for myself. Sure, sometimes I felt attractive, or intelligent, or powerful, or nurturing, but what would it feel like to combine all of these qualities and not only exemplify them , but actually truly feel them at the same time- as an ongoing reality?

Deep inside I felt a urning to expand into more of my feminine power, but I just did not know what that meant, or how to go about it. I went on a search for females that had it together, and that I could learn from. In the early Summer of 2013 I had over a year left of working on my book 'Confessions of a Spiritual Apprentice', which is now released (hooray!). In it, I confess to a plethora of childhood incidents that shaped my inner most fears of being a woman in the world. In writing my book, I realized despite being a woman, I spent a lifetime trying not to exhibit female qualities for fear of attracting inappropriate attention from men. I became aware that I was truly scared shitless of relaxing into any kind of feelings of being beautiful, sexual or feminine. How did Princess Leia rock that bikini outfit with such confidence and still demand respect from her peers? What was her secret?

Could I 'trust' my femininity and relax into loving myself enough to begin feeling beautiful? Now that would be hard. What about feeling sexy or assuming my inner femininity and displaying it outright... Wouldn't that get me into trouble- or draw trouble to me??? Could I unfurl my personal beauty and sexuality in the world without protective shields and expectations of things going awry, or of me being betrayed or hurt AGAIN like in the past? What If someone tries to hurt me again? Then what? Having experienced abuse, betrayal, manipulation and bullying as a youth, the last thing I wanted to do was reproduce those same experiences. 

Years of healing mind, body and emotions culminated in me finally being ready (at the age of forty) to feel safe enough to explore being a beautiful woman in the world. I had never before defined what that meant to me. Simply put, what I mean by being a beautiful woman in the world, is stepping into loving myself more, and letting that self love shine. It means making peace with my looks, exploring ways to love my body as it is, and even exploring ways to improve parts of it, while allowing my natural self to be. For example I have gotten into a dry brush/clay mask and castor/shea butter routine that I swear has decreased cellulite, tightened loose skin, and given a glow to my body that I didn't have before. Haven't seen my vid on that? Here it is for you- but come back to reading this after :) Love the Skin Your'e In. In the past I would simply roll around on the floor, squeezing my flab and cursing my cellulite in the mirror. Moaning for a better life, I would pretend there was nothing I could do to help... And I hated my body, over and over, I hated it ... Until I started treating it differently, like with a routine outlined in my vid. We forget, our body is a living organism; it responds equally to our loving attention, and  to hateful rejection.

What would it be like to own my beauty and femininity? Could I allow myself a new experience that is not thwarted by my past experiences or hurt? Yes I can, and You can too.

As my search for female role models began, I noticed a specific type of 'femme' that appeared to dominate. At first I was drawn to the very beautiful 'on fire' type of women that spoke their minds and did things their way. They burned a path for themselves, where there was no path before. I appreciated that quality. They are beautiful and powerful. I found a handful of females all offering tools and healing and empowerment along the road I felt I had to take- aligning with my divine femininity and sexuality. I was super excited! Yes, I had found my people... Or so I thought. Upon 'following' a handful of these potential female role models via social media, I got to 'try on' their posts, pictures and attitudes, of which some appeared to be inspiring at first, and some- not so much. A big part of these women's power seemed to be in aligning with one's sexual power. That, to me, seemed to be the most scariest part of it all. How could I unfurl into my feminine and sexual power, when I was terrified of it? I didn't trust it. I really didn't have a touchstone of what that power could feel like,  because I had never truly felt it inside. 

After some time of researching these women to see if perhaps I would be guided to spend time with them by partaking in a workshop they shared to empower my femininity or sexual energy etc...  I realized these particular women I was at first drawn to were actually, pretty darn righteous- not in a good way, and... down right rude. I kept pushing those qualities I did not like about them under the rug and tried not to notice them, instead watching for their next post/video/blog to set things straight again, and make me like them. But time after time, I became annoyed and less impressed by the kind of offerings these women emulated before me. They offered many different opportunities to emulate them in my minds eye. Did I want to post numerous pictures of myself with my legs spread WIDE apart all over facebook, in an attempt to announce my sacred feminine had arrived, or could I continually put down other women, toting ".. I am the one and only Queen Bee, bitch..". Oh, hell no. That is not my style. Will I be the type of woman to make men 'wrong', in an attempt for me to be 'right'??? Was I about to take on history and be swayed by polarized beliefs of presiding patriarchy or the need for matriarchy in the past/present or possible future?

After months of filtering through these female potential role models' social media offerings, I eventually 'unfollowed' all of them, noticing I was actually getting stressed every time I would see a post by them. That was a sign that took me a while 'to get'. Even though I had some tough interactions and a lot of pain in my youth, I didn't need to be a bitch in the now, just to make up for it- nor did I feel the need to open my legs as a means to get 'likes' on social media, or be better than other women, or blame the world's 'past' for my innate fears and pain in the now. Phew.... Now sifting through all of that was a good exercise. Unbenonced to me, my research had actually allowed me to know for sure what I DID NOT WISH TO BE as I entered upon the path of my divine feminine. 

I sought to; 

-own my personal power as a woman. I realized this was something I could only do for myself by listening to my body like a tuning rod. I ask myself often; What feels right to me now? And listen to my body's feeling.  As I practice this, I can easier sense what is not serving me too, and shift gears accordingly. 

-get over fearing (my) sexual energy, and in fact- learn to align with it in healthy ways. This can be a tough one when you have reasons from the past that tell you not to trust sexual energy, or that 'feeling' sexy will get you into trouble if you display your sexiness outwardly. Learn that it's okay to be playful with your sexuality in appropriate environments. Explore and use those playful experiences to trust into even more of your sexual energy in life. For example; I go through spells of taking a handful of Bellydance classes where ever I can find them, when I know my sexual/feminine energy needs to be shaken up. It is in a safe environment where I can jiggle and shimmy and 'get my sexy on'. From here my sexual energy has a base line to work from, out in the world. Can't make a class? Get your dance on at home. Read my Blogpost 'Dance Dance Dance!'

-experience being beautiful. Write down what being beautiful means to you... And try on some of your propositions. Maybe its doing your make up every day- even if you do not leave the house. Mary Kay of the cosmetics company said she would get dressed, and do her hair and make up every day just to work around the house. It helped her to feel beautiful and feminine, and she took that baseline feeling into the world with her. And sure, the experience of being beautiful may mean having your hair or make up done just so, or wearing your fav sweater that hugs your curves. But it can also be in how you speak with others or handle situations with softness, attentiveness and kindness. Being beautiful begins with having beautiful thoughts about yourself and others. Who do you know that brings the energy of beauty wherever they go? Who are the nicest, kindest women you know? Can you emulate some of their qualities?- The ones that speak to your inner femme?

-relax into my divine feminine by invoking a softer means of being in the world. This meant (to me) I had to stop expecting the world to treat me inappropriately, just because I am a woman. This meant I got to lay down my shields of armor from past hurts, little by little- and allow men to treat me with respect and honor in every day life, such as allowing a man to open a door, or accept a 'respectful' compliment from a stranger (not a wolf whistle). I had to meet the world half way, with the energy of positive trust. And while not all instances are perfect, there is greater harmony in life when I am allowing and relaxing into my divine feminine than when I am trying to push it down out of fear and hide it with my more masculine air. Relaxing into my divine feminine means I get to rewire my thinking and emotional responses to men, and women for that matter- in the world. What does it mean to you? Watch my vid Divine Feminine, the Invitation. Here I offer affirmations to help coach one's self into trusting and allowing that power to gently and appropriately activate from deep within , while healing wounds of the past.

There is so much more, but these basics helped me find my truth in the face of so much glaring and tempting paths to attain a new sense of feminine empowerment. The path is different for each of us, but until we dare venture it, we shall never know what is the path for our own divine growth.

This (part of the) story ends with me being introduced to a yoga instructor- who, is one of my favorite teachers in the world... and not just for yoga. She is an amazing role model of what being a beautiful, intelligent, sassy (defined in the urban dictionary as: possessing the attitude of someone endowed with an ungodly amount of cool.), empowered and sexually attuned female IS!  She is a bad ass in her own right. She has an Olympian's discipline when it comes to maintaining a positive attitude and does not abuse her looks or abilities to get what she wants. She doesn't have to manipulate anything to manifest what she desires. She is so clear and kind, and gives beauty and grace to everyone and everything, that the universe seems to give her back- everything she needs.

Maybe she has mastered being in her divine feminine. All I know, is when the student is ready, the teacher appears. ©TuesdayMayThomas

Divine Feminine- Part 2 of 4 'Ask and You Shall Receive'

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©TuesdayMayThomas

From an early age I was taught to fear intimacy with men. At least, that's how I translated the words of my grandmother. From the age of five she would tell me "Anytime a man looks you in the eye, he wants to have sex with you.." I was too young to know what sex was at the time, but by the way my grandmother affirmed this statement to me time and time again, it seemed that men and sex were something to fear. I learned to not attract the attention of men in any way shape or form, for fear of an inappropriate transference of energy. 

Granted, yes it's true- at five years old I should not engage with strangers or strange men attempting to hold my gaze. This truth aside, there was something about what she used to tell me- that got under my skin as a kid..., into my mental projections as I grew up, and fueled my emotional triggers as an adult. I know my grandmother was only doing what she felt was right for my well being at the time... But this one belief pattern informed my life for over forty years. It filtered the way I perceived myself as a woman in the world, which was to shrink my energy rather than expand it. I spent years agonizing over trying to understand the complexity of the male/female dilemma in the world.

Throughout life, a personal fear of men and sex caused me to squelch any feminine attributes I had, and filter them through a masculine pretense. Deep down I feared drawing too much attention from men by being beautiful or attractive, or too feminine in any way. I feared men would be seeking to have sex with me like my grandmother said and that was bad- right? 

Though my mother is a strong and beautiful woman, we spent very little time together in my youth and without my biological father around, I was left on my own to figure things out. It was complicated because I was told not to seek attention from men by my grandmother, yet I sought it desperately as a means to be validated by my 'missing' father. When ever I did receive sexual attention from men, I felt terribly ashamed for receiving it. My lines of understanding were all criss-crossed. I am just beginning to tread a new world of trust and expression as a Divine Feminine being upon this planet. And it's about time!

~

Six months ago while journaling, I wrote... "I will be turning forty-two and can count on one hand, how many times I have truly felt feminine in my whole life. I have spent years being afraid to be a beautiful woman in the world. I long to explore what it means to be feminine and how it feels to honor the beauty that resides within myself." -

I knew I was ready to start re-defining who I was as a woman. I was ready to release the old belief patterns placed into me by my past and launch a part of myself that had for my entire life, been missing. I lay in the bathtub with a candle and my crystals. An urge to 'call in' my female-power came over me. I found myself praying to be lifted into the arms of a universal wisdom that could safely reveal it's secrets through the Divine Feminine. I prayed to understand myself as a woman in this world. I prayed to download the strength I needed to trust that it was okay to be beautiful and powerful without needing to use my female energy to manipulate or seduce. I prayed for grace and innocence, humility, wisdom and healing. "Divine Feminine, come unto me- for the highest good... I call upon you now. I am ready to embody your wisdom, grace and beauty."

I have a face to face with Sophia Loren. She tells me:

It is okay to relax into your femininity. Raise your head up high and own your womanhood.

Soon after my bathing/prayer ceremony I decide to practice bellydancing in the same room as my fiance. This would be a challenge for me as I had not danced in front of him in this way before. At first I fumbled and felt so awkward. I had to battle feeling stupid and foolish. Even though he was on his computer, I knew he was watching me. I decided this was the perfect gateway to embracing my femininity and allowing the Divine Feminine to move through me. After all, I'm in the presence of a man with whom I feel completely safe. And I'm in my own home too. What could go wrong? After forty minutes of practicing some moves- I made a HUGE breakthrough... Bravo!!! I actually felt safe inhabiting the feminine force for the first time in my life. I had a breakthrough and it was fucking amazing.

 But the next day, my body told a different story. I went to get up out of bed and my hip was killing me. "What the...?" Had I opened up a part of myself so deeply that it caused my physical body to require some sort of a re-boot? There was no pain when I was bellydancing last night, how could this be? Ughhhh. When I meditated upon it, the message I got was: The strain in my hip is due to the opening up of an area where 'trusting my sexuality' had been previously blocked.  For the next two weeks I shifted my gait to acclimate my new hip strain.  My hips moved in and out of a staccato motion, but eventually I found a new fluid rhythm in my hips that I had only encountered briefly at one other time in my life. 

While undergoing my 'hip transformation', I began writing new affirmations for my body. I realized further acknowledgment  of the Divine Feminine was important. I started this crazy train, now I better take the reigns! I asked for it, and here she was. Was the Divine Feminine showing me her love through my hip transformation? My new affirmation became: "I now expand my vision and see more beauty in myself than ever before."I now expand my vision and embrace more femininity."

In fact, I kept writing and writing and have been using the following affirmations as a means to acclimate my mind, body, emotions and spirit into a new paradigm of trust and empowerment. I placed the affirmations into a video.You are invited into my world. Watch the following video, and if it connects with your soul, please use it often. It has helped me to create new awareness and expanded energy and grace in regards to embracing the Divine Feminine power in my life... And it can help you too!

Love

Tuesday

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